As Happy as I Choose to Be

All Dressed Up and Ready for School

So when I go into Bailee's room to wake her up for school on Friday, I see that she is wearing her skirt and shirt for school underneath her nightgown.  Huh? So as I wake her up, I ask, "Why are you wearing your school clothes under your nightgown?" Barely awake and not even turning over, she responds "I didn't want to waste time."  Too funny.

Went to a parent orientation meeting for a program called Take Flight at Bailee's school which is for dyslexics. She hasn't been officially diagnosed as dyslexic but is due for more screening in the next month. After reading up a bit and attending this orientation I'm very impressed with it. Take Flight was developed by Scottish Rite Hospital for Children in Dallas specifically to teach children with dyslexia. So many of the traits sound familiar with the challenges we've had learning to read and just generally in school. Mills Elementary only has this program because the mom of 3 dyslexic kids who go to school at Mills got her certification to teach this.  I admire someone who has truly found their calling in life.  She originally set up the Roaring Readers parent-led volunteer program which helps K-2nd graders at Mills. Only 25 students at Mills are in the Take Flight program and Bailee is pulled from class 5 days a week for 45 minutes a day plus we have some work to do at home.  They are teaching them cursive already as studies show dyslexic chidlren can write better and even spell better in cursive than they can in traditional print. It is going to be another interesting year and I pray this helps.

Bailee read 7 books to me tonight!!!

She tells me "I hate reading" which just makes me so sad.  I know it stems from having so much trouble learning to read and I'm hoping that the Roaring Readers and Oxford Learning tutoring and now the Take Flight program will turn her around on how great reading is.  I'll learn about the Take Flight program at a parent's orientation on Friday.  It says it's for dyslexia and is affiliated with the Scottish Rite Hospital for Children.  They told me she tested negative for dyslexia this past spring, but maybe they put children in who are challenged in any way with reading.  It looks to be a 2 year program through the school...so it won't be an overnight fix, but...  I've seen a big difference in the last month and know Oxford is paying off.  I just hate that she still says "I can't read" and just doesn't try to read her homework assignments by herself or much else.  Maybe it's like her swimming...she reads much better than she thinks she does so part of it is getting her confidence up. 

She read 7 different books tonight.  Basic ones, but still for her to go through 7 is unheard of.  And then she tells me "I hate chapter books" so I remind her that she likes Junie B. Jones and I even got out my old copy of Little Women.  Wow, I loved that book SO much growing up!  Still do!  I read a page or two, but granted...it's a bit much for her right now.  Maybe I'll get out the first Harry Potter book and see if she likes that "chapter book".  I just want to instill the love of reading in her!

Roaring Readers

Bailee had a recognition program at school today for the Roaring Readers program.  She had been going up to 4 days a week to get extra coaching on her reading along with 109 other Kindergarten-2nd graders.  She was so proud of the medal and t-shirt that she got.  She's sleeping in the t-shirt right now.  I'm glad to see her excited about anything academic.

Busy week.  Mom drove her old car to Austin to give to me now that it's repaired and we attempted to sell mine today...long story...wearing day.  And tomorrow promises to be even longer with swim lesson and 2 birthday parties.  Bailee and I went to the pool today so I could hopefully show her that swimming is fun.  Maybe she won't clinch around the instructor's neck quite so hard tomorrow.  I do love that child to bear the humiliation factor of me in a swimsuit.  My pale, pale skin (and not in the southern belle kind of way) is bad enough but with my weight...yikes! (as my friend Susan says).  The good thing is that since I have to take my glasses off to get in the pool I'm basically blind so have no idea if I know anyone there and if I can't see them...they must not be able to see me! 

OK - so maybe not a real happy day...

It was another rough night last night and again at breakfast this morning. I need a tutor in parenting!  With the challenges Bailee has had basically since school started this year I keep hoping I've gained a bit of insight in the frustration she's feeling and poor self-esteem over her school struggles.  However it's still tough to watch her not even try!  And I lose my temper yet again - no matter how many times I tell myself not to.  And I hate that because I'm sure I'm making things even worse.  I'm so tired of crying each and every school night, in the dark in my room or in garage where I've walked out to keep from losing my temper.  I hate this!

I hate seeing her get so frustrated that she hits herself in the head and says things like "I just can't do it!" or "I just don't get it!" or worse yet "I'm dumb!"  Where she ever heard that I don't know but I hate it.  She's so bright and loving and special and to see her self-esteem take a dive this year - it sucks!  My little girl who loves to make lists above anything and who loves books, but struggles so hard to read and spelling makes writing a maddening experience for her.

At the same time, her social skills really are great!  I admire her ability to go up to other people and just talk.  She will go introduce herself to other kids in restaurants.  She will go up to an adult and ask directions.  I wouldn't even order fast food at Long John Silvers or McDonald's growing up because 1) it meant talking to a stranger and 2) wanting a "special order" made it even worse to order!  My shyness felt debilitating and still does at times personally if not professionally.  So it's wonderful to see her confidently walk up to someone and just make friends or ask a question.  Go Bailee!!!  I want her to be fearless in all aspects of her life.