As Happy as I Choose to Be

Charlie Brown Christmas

Lisa's favorite cartoon growing was Peanuts and one Christmas she got a set of 5 books (Great Pumpkin, He's Your Dog..., Charlie Brown Christmas...) and for some reason they've been at my house for the last few years. Anyway, Bailee and I read A Charlie Brown Christmas this weekend and then watched the TV special on Sunday...while following along in the book. Bailee then got interested in reading all the other books as well (yea!). While at Old Navy this week, I saw they had cartoon t-shirts so I got one for Bailee (Snoopy hugging the yellow bird - what's his name? - under mistletoe).  Bailee LOVED it so much that after wearing it to school yesterday for her class party, she asked me last night "Is it clean enough that I can wear it again tomorrow?" So guess whose kid looks like their mom doesn't wash their clothes today?  I don't care.  I'm glad she likes it!

We've been Wii maniacs this week. Since she hasn't had homework we've had more time and I bought a Christmas Wii game so we've been playing it every night.  Pretty fun!

All Dressed Up and Ready for School

So when I go into Bailee's room to wake her up for school on Friday, I see that she is wearing her skirt and shirt for school underneath her nightgown.  Huh? So as I wake her up, I ask, "Why are you wearing your school clothes under your nightgown?" Barely awake and not even turning over, she responds "I didn't want to waste time."  Too funny.

Went to a parent orientation meeting for a program called Take Flight at Bailee's school which is for dyslexics. She hasn't been officially diagnosed as dyslexic but is due for more screening in the next month. After reading up a bit and attending this orientation I'm very impressed with it. Take Flight was developed by Scottish Rite Hospital for Children in Dallas specifically to teach children with dyslexia. So many of the traits sound familiar with the challenges we've had learning to read and just generally in school. Mills Elementary only has this program because the mom of 3 dyslexic kids who go to school at Mills got her certification to teach this.  I admire someone who has truly found their calling in life.  She originally set up the Roaring Readers parent-led volunteer program which helps K-2nd graders at Mills. Only 25 students at Mills are in the Take Flight program and Bailee is pulled from class 5 days a week for 45 minutes a day plus we have some work to do at home.  They are teaching them cursive already as studies show dyslexic chidlren can write better and even spell better in cursive than they can in traditional print. It is going to be another interesting year and I pray this helps.

Bailee read 7 books to me tonight!!!

She tells me "I hate reading" which just makes me so sad.  I know it stems from having so much trouble learning to read and I'm hoping that the Roaring Readers and Oxford Learning tutoring and now the Take Flight program will turn her around on how great reading is.  I'll learn about the Take Flight program at a parent's orientation on Friday.  It says it's for dyslexia and is affiliated with the Scottish Rite Hospital for Children.  They told me she tested negative for dyslexia this past spring, but maybe they put children in who are challenged in any way with reading.  It looks to be a 2 year program through the school...so it won't be an overnight fix, but...  I've seen a big difference in the last month and know Oxford is paying off.  I just hate that she still says "I can't read" and just doesn't try to read her homework assignments by herself or much else.  Maybe it's like her swimming...she reads much better than she thinks she does so part of it is getting her confidence up. 

She read 7 different books tonight.  Basic ones, but still for her to go through 7 is unheard of.  And then she tells me "I hate chapter books" so I remind her that she likes Junie B. Jones and I even got out my old copy of Little Women.  Wow, I loved that book SO much growing up!  Still do!  I read a page or two, but granted...it's a bit much for her right now.  Maybe I'll get out the first Harry Potter book and see if she likes that "chapter book".  I just want to instill the love of reading in her!

My First First Day of School with Bailee!

I missed Bailee's first day of Kindergarten and 1st grade because I was onsite at one of the conferences I plan, so when we moved the dates earlier this year - I was thrilled!  (And no, we didn't move the dates earlier just so I could be at the 1st day of school...though that's a great reason.)  So to get to participate in this parent/child ritual...it was wonderful.

For the last 2 years Mom has taken Bailee to her first day of school and walked to school with Emma and her parents.  Well, who do Bailee and I run into while walking to school...but Emma, Kathy and Rob.  Seems fitting.  (And of course Kathy said, "Of course we'll wait for you.  It's the only way we get pictures of Emma!"  Obviously NOT a scrapbooker!)

Roaring Readers

Bailee had a recognition program at school today for the Roaring Readers program.  She had been going up to 4 days a week to get extra coaching on her reading along with 109 other Kindergarten-2nd graders.  She was so proud of the medal and t-shirt that she got.  She's sleeping in the t-shirt right now.  I'm glad to see her excited about anything academic.

Busy week.  Mom drove her old car to Austin to give to me now that it's repaired and we attempted to sell mine today...long story...wearing day.  And tomorrow promises to be even longer with swim lesson and 2 birthday parties.  Bailee and I went to the pool today so I could hopefully show her that swimming is fun.  Maybe she won't clinch around the instructor's neck quite so hard tomorrow.  I do love that child to bear the humiliation factor of me in a swimsuit.  My pale, pale skin (and not in the southern belle kind of way) is bad enough but with my weight...yikes! (as my friend Susan says).  The good thing is that since I have to take my glasses off to get in the pool I'm basically blind so have no idea if I know anyone there and if I can't see them...they must not be able to see me! 

Cinco de Mayo

 

The 1st graders did a Cinco de Mayo recital today.  On the way to the 8am performance I was walking in front of a couple who were telling the parent of a kid who obviously wasn't in the 1st grade where they were headed.  She explained "the 1st graders are going to sing some spanish songs for the 1st of May".  Boy...she must be new to Texas or possibly even North America if she doesn't know that Cinco is 5...pretty funny.

The kids were adorable!  Bailee's class sang "Chocolate" and she was an orange "m" (of M&M's fame, of course).  There were frogs and vegetables and Pedro Rabbit and chefs and Mexican hat dances...and now of course I can't get La Bamba out of my head...ugh! 

OK - so maybe not a real happy day...

It was another rough night last night and again at breakfast this morning. I need a tutor in parenting!  With the challenges Bailee has had basically since school started this year I keep hoping I've gained a bit of insight in the frustration she's feeling and poor self-esteem over her school struggles.  However it's still tough to watch her not even try!  And I lose my temper yet again - no matter how many times I tell myself not to.  And I hate that because I'm sure I'm making things even worse.  I'm so tired of crying each and every school night, in the dark in my room or in garage where I've walked out to keep from losing my temper.  I hate this!

I hate seeing her get so frustrated that she hits herself in the head and says things like "I just can't do it!" or "I just don't get it!" or worse yet "I'm dumb!"  Where she ever heard that I don't know but I hate it.  She's so bright and loving and special and to see her self-esteem take a dive this year - it sucks!  My little girl who loves to make lists above anything and who loves books, but struggles so hard to read and spelling makes writing a maddening experience for her.

At the same time, her social skills really are great!  I admire her ability to go up to other people and just talk.  She will go introduce herself to other kids in restaurants.  She will go up to an adult and ask directions.  I wouldn't even order fast food at Long John Silvers or McDonald's growing up because 1) it meant talking to a stranger and 2) wanting a "special order" made it even worse to order!  My shyness felt debilitating and still does at times personally if not professionally.  So it's wonderful to see her confidently walk up to someone and just make friends or ask a question.  Go Bailee!!!  I want her to be fearless in all aspects of her life.

School Spring Festival, birthday party and swim lesson...so tired!

So much for a relaxing weekend.  We had a swim lesson around 12n.  Bailee proceeded to cry for most of it plus about 15 minutes afterwards.  She had a bit of a scary experience last summer getting in water deeper than she realized with a friend who's taller and she hasn't recovered yet. She's really not enjoying it but she's got to learn to be safe...so I'm a big meanie head!  Then lunch at our favorite Chinese restaurant, home to wrap (ok - gift bag) Marisa's present and then off to the school spring festival. 

The first thing Bailee wanted to do was go to the petting zoo.  Then she proceeded to drop the bunny within about 3 seconds of having been handed it.  Kind of fed a baby goat a bottle for about 30 seconds and did actually pet a pony.  It's a good thing we don't live on a farm.  If gloves had been handy...she might have held an animal...maybe...

  

So straight from school festival to birthday party...and then 3 hours for me all to myself - YEA!  That doesn't happen often.  And of course I can't find the slide thingy for my scanner and my printer isn't working...so didn't even get any scrapbooking stuff done.  Oh well, such is life! 

I miss Papa!

I finally watched the final episode of The Gilmore Girls - only my favorite TV show ever.  I never could bring myself to watch that final episode - it seemed to be admitting it was really over - so it has sat on my DVR for what - 2 years now?  I love the relationship between Lorelei and Rory and yes, hope Bailee and I have that open communication, laughter and friendship they had.  I do know that we eat out at restaurants as much as they did.  Not that this was their best quality to emulate.

So another night of homework h!@#% around here.  This is the first time all week that I've ended up in the garage crying though...so that's an improvement over the last several months when it was 3 and 4 nights a week.  I'm not a crier (is that a word?) but it's different when it's your kid.  It's heartbreaking to see Bailee be down on herself and say "I can't do it" or "I just can't get it" and at the same time it's so frustrating to see her not try.  No matter how much I now realize why she's not trying...but still hard to work through.  This was her 4th time at Oxford Learning Center for tutoring and I have hope now...just realize it won't be overnight.  More like a year+ but in the meantime...we have to keep working through the homework as best we can. So yes, I came out of the garage and we tried again.

Bailee did end up going to bed upset and it turned into a conversation of "Is God our Dad?" A tough concept to explain. And then "Can Papa come back? What's he say to God in heaven?" I said he was enjoying the great music and probably a ballgame.  She asked "Did Papa love to hear me sing?"  "Of course.  You Are My Sunshine was one of his favorite songs." Then it turned into sobs of "I miss Papa."  So do I, Bailee...so do I.  He would have had great advice for the struggles you and I have been going through over the last months.  I wish he was here to give me advice...he was great at advice.  And more than just "Have you checked the oil lately?" but the big stuff too.

So I took you to my room and we rocked in the rocking chair until you fell asleep.  You may be 7, but you're not too old for that and it's special when we rock now.  I bet Lorelei rocked Rory long after she was a baby too.